The Legend of PersisMeowMeow

Hi, my name is Hippopotameow, and I have March Madness. I admit it, I am addicted to the NCAA tournament. Initially I just watched because without Katie here I figured Baxter could use the company, but I got into it really fast. The drama, the excitement, the last minute action. Sometimes its so much that I simply have to curl into a tight little ball and take a nap. Not to mention, there are alot of teams named after cats, I am just surprised there is not a school whose mascot is the Persian.

Some people, of course, are not aware that Persians are among the most ferocious of all the smaller cats. I was playing with Baxter the other day and attacking my kitty brush, then my catness took over and I lit into Baxter's hand attempting to rip it off at the elbow. After he pulled it away I explained that sometimes I just lose myself in the attack. Its like my ancestors who chased all the tigers out of persia. Baxter apparently did not even know this story, so I was telling him the legend of PersisMeowMeow, the first cat to ever move to persia.

PersisMeowMeow was a beautiful gray cat and he lived near Egypt. One day he was simply bored with the whole being worshipped pyramid thing so he decided to go East. He was a big fan of General Tso's Tuna, a new dish he had just gotten to sample from the local chinese buffet in Cairo. As a result he thought he would take a leisurely trot accross the Middle East and into China, napping in the soft desert sands along the way. After a couple days of traveling PersisMeowMeow encountered a gigantic band of travelers, refugees even, fleeing to the West. "Where are you all going?" the small gray cat asked, adding "Do you perhaps have a bite of fish to spare? I've been eating nothing but camels for most of my journey."

"Oh beautiful cat," one of the pack replied, "We are an unfortunate people seeking refuge from our homeland. An evil clan of tigers has invaded our beautiful home and chased us away. It would take an entire army to remove them and we have not the resources."

"I am deeply moved by your plight." PersisMeowMeow responded. "Lead me back to this home of yours and I will see what I can do."

The people were of course skeptical, but without options, they followed the kitten's adorable hoppy gait. After a few days they reached their homeland and PersisMeowMeow could see, even from a distance, the enormous orange and black beasts that roamed the streets and homes of this once proud place. "Wait here" he told the flock of refugees. "I will go on alone."

One of the tigers noticed the cat approaching. He was a cocky young animal and joked to his tiger friends "Watch me impress the local tigresses as I rip this cat to shreds." He raced off into the sand towards PersisMeowMeow. Though all the people behind him feared for his life, the smaller cat stood his ground and at the last minute, PersisMeowMeow crouched, shook his butt, and attacked, knocking the predator to the ground and holding a sharp kitten-claw to his throat.

"Go to your leader and bring him or her to me. Tell them that PersisMeowMeow wishes to "speak" to them." The large creature crawled away, slowly at first, then sprinting with his tail between his legs, failing to ignore the guffaws of his fellows and the giggles of the tigresses nearby. Only minutes later a tiger who dwarfed all the others appeared. Sauntering slowly towards the gray kitten he roared "What do want of me? Why do you bring these miserable people alongside you?"

"I am PersisMeowMeow and I come to request that you give these people back their homes. Surely such intelligent members of the feline family can find some way to coexist with these peaceful folk. Besides, you have already proven your ability to best them in combat. What chance do they stand against your kittenish wiles?"

"Silly domestic. We have taken this land as our own. We enjoy the facilities the humans have built here and have no desire to share. Besides, we are not kittens. We are majestic predators who have far outevolved your purring silliness. We do not share our living space with them. We have heard of your trip to China, and we shall let you pass. But they must turn around and leave, lest they be devoured."

"I had hoped it would not come to this. But if it must be the case, we shall battle. BRING IT!!!!!!!!"

A fierce battle ensued, the mighty tiger and the smaller cat. A cloud of sand surrounded the fierce combatants. After several minutes the dust began to clear and atop the orange furry mess stood PersisMeowMeow, grey and proud.

"Now," he softly but firmly purred "your tiger kind will leave this place. Go on to China and fetch me some General Tso's Tuna!!"

Fearing for their lives the great beasts followed their leader and dashed to the East. "What happened!?!?!" they demanded of their leader. "What will we do!"

"Oh we will show that PersisMeowMeow! We will go to China alright, but we WILL NOT bring back his General Tso's Tuna!!"

The people rejoiced and raised PersisMeowMeow on a slik cushion singing his praises to the sky. "Thank you thank you beautiful kitten!" They cried. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I am." PersisMeowMeow replied. "Though it appears that my face has been smooshed in the fight."

The people were so pleased to have their homes back that they did everything for the cat. They provided him with their most succulent dish, something they called "Kitten Chow" and gave him free reign to climb or nap anywhere he wished. They brushed his long beautiful fur and brought him a beautiful female cat, so they could have many kittens. They even went so far as to name all his descendents and even their new country Persia, after the cat that had saved them. As a reminder of his bravery amongst all other cats, Persians even today have the same smooshed face as their great great great grandkitten.

The End.

Such a beautiful story. It gets me right here. And right here.

Purr,

Hippo