The Legend of PersisMeowMeow

Hi, my name is Hippopotameow, and I have March Madness. I admit it, I am addicted to the NCAA tournament. Initially I just watched because without Katie here I figured Baxter could use the company, but I got into it really fast. The drama, the excitement, the last minute action. Sometimes its so much that I simply have to curl into a tight little ball and take a nap. Not to mention, there are alot of teams named after cats, I am just surprised there is not a school whose mascot is the Persian.

Some people, of course, are not aware that Persians are among the most ferocious of all the smaller cats. I was playing with Baxter the other day and attacking my kitty brush, then my catness took over and I lit into Baxter's hand attempting to rip it off at the elbow. After he pulled it away I explained that sometimes I just lose myself in the attack. Its like my ancestors who chased all the tigers out of persia. Baxter apparently did not even know this story, so I was telling him the legend of PersisMeowMeow, the first cat to ever move to persia.

PersisMeowMeow was a beautiful gray cat and he lived near Egypt. One day he was simply bored with the whole being worshipped pyramid thing so he decided to go East. He was a big fan of General Tso's Tuna, a new dish he had just gotten to sample from the local chinese buffet in Cairo. As a result he thought he would take a leisurely trot accross the Middle East and into China, napping in the soft desert sands along the way. After a couple days of traveling PersisMeowMeow encountered a gigantic band of travelers, refugees even, fleeing to the West. "Where are you all going?" the small gray cat asked, adding "Do you perhaps have a bite of fish to spare? I've been eating nothing but camels for most of my journey."

"Oh beautiful cat," one of the pack replied, "We are an unfortunate people seeking refuge from our homeland. An evil clan of tigers has invaded our beautiful home and chased us away. It would take an entire army to remove them and we have not the resources."

"I am deeply moved by your plight." PersisMeowMeow responded. "Lead me back to this home of yours and I will see what I can do."

The people were of course skeptical, but without options, they followed the kitten's adorable hoppy gait. After a few days they reached their homeland and PersisMeowMeow could see, even from a distance, the enormous orange and black beasts that roamed the streets and homes of this once proud place. "Wait here" he told the flock of refugees. "I will go on alone."

One of the tigers noticed the cat approaching. He was a cocky young animal and joked to his tiger friends "Watch me impress the local tigresses as I rip this cat to shreds." He raced off into the sand towards PersisMeowMeow. Though all the people behind him feared for his life, the smaller cat stood his ground and at the last minute, PersisMeowMeow crouched, shook his butt, and attacked, knocking the predator to the ground and holding a sharp kitten-claw to his throat.

"Go to your leader and bring him or her to me. Tell them that PersisMeowMeow wishes to "speak" to them." The large creature crawled away, slowly at first, then sprinting with his tail between his legs, failing to ignore the guffaws of his fellows and the giggles of the tigresses nearby. Only minutes later a tiger who dwarfed all the others appeared. Sauntering slowly towards the gray kitten he roared "What do want of me? Why do you bring these miserable people alongside you?"

"I am PersisMeowMeow and I come to request that you give these people back their homes. Surely such intelligent members of the feline family can find some way to coexist with these peaceful folk. Besides, you have already proven your ability to best them in combat. What chance do they stand against your kittenish wiles?"

"Silly domestic. We have taken this land as our own. We enjoy the facilities the humans have built here and have no desire to share. Besides, we are not kittens. We are majestic predators who have far outevolved your purring silliness. We do not share our living space with them. We have heard of your trip to China, and we shall let you pass. But they must turn around and leave, lest they be devoured."

"I had hoped it would not come to this. But if it must be the case, we shall battle. BRING IT!!!!!!!!"

A fierce battle ensued, the mighty tiger and the smaller cat. A cloud of sand surrounded the fierce combatants. After several minutes the dust began to clear and atop the orange furry mess stood PersisMeowMeow, grey and proud.

"Now," he softly but firmly purred "your tiger kind will leave this place. Go on to China and fetch me some General Tso's Tuna!!"

Fearing for their lives the great beasts followed their leader and dashed to the East. "What happened!?!?!" they demanded of their leader. "What will we do!"

"Oh we will show that PersisMeowMeow! We will go to China alright, but we WILL NOT bring back his General Tso's Tuna!!"

The people rejoiced and raised PersisMeowMeow on a slik cushion singing his praises to the sky. "Thank you thank you beautiful kitten!" They cried. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I am." PersisMeowMeow replied. "Though it appears that my face has been smooshed in the fight."

The people were so pleased to have their homes back that they did everything for the cat. They provided him with their most succulent dish, something they called "Kitten Chow" and gave him free reign to climb or nap anywhere he wished. They brushed his long beautiful fur and brought him a beautiful female cat, so they could have many kittens. They even went so far as to name all his descendents and even their new country Persia, after the cat that had saved them. As a reminder of his bravery amongst all other cats, Persians even today have the same smooshed face as their great great great grandkitten.

The End.

Such a beautiful story. It gets me right here. And right here.

Purr,

Hippo

H-H-H Hippo, Beautiful Hip-po, you're the only c-c-c-cat that I adore

I know that it has been forever since I updated, but I blame that on Katie and Baxter. They went out of town last weekend for the longest time EVER and turned off Katie's computer so that I could not update on my own. When laptops are around, it's almost a shame not to update, but I was far too lazy to bother figuring out how to boot up the desktop.

This week has been a lot of medicine, and I am not pleased. However, I have been placated with many toys that I deign to consider, knowing they are intended to make me feel less bad about the dreaded yellow towel and pink bubblegum medicine. It's easy for a kitty to be grumpy under those circumstances. Add in that I accidentally jumped into the bathtub yesterday while there was still two inches of draining water in it from Katie's shower and you are lucky that I am not permanently hiding under the bed.

The one thing continually brightening my mood is the fact that I have figured out how to sit on the window ledge in the bedroom underneath the venetian blinds and the canopy, and look out the window. No bother that I usually fall off, land on Baxter's head, and wake him up while he is sleeping. The view is breathtaking.

Purr,
Hippo

Oh, Give me the Meow Cat and Make Me Purr, I Want to Get Lost in Your Fluffy Fur

I know its been a while, but its been hectic in the Hippo-verse. To begin with Katie and Baxter left me for like three full days, which was not at all purrific. I had to sit around watching College Gameday all by my lonesome with a bag of Kitten Chow and a dish of cream. If I had freaking opposable thumbs and could rock either a whisk or the stand mixer I would have whipped it up and dipped strawberries in it. Maybe not strawberries. Prolly Kitten Chow. Maybe tuna.

Regardless, I have been told that the debate season is winding down and that while Katie will be out of town during Spring Break, Baxter and I will have plenty of time to discuss Heidegger, which normally Katie frowns upon. I have been trying to determine what exactly is the necessity of "Being-towards" versus "Being-alongside." I have been trying to read Being and Time with Baxter, but for some reason he moves me away whenever I attempt to sit on the book and read. Not to mention that he won't even let me read the first chapter of "Crash." Something about destroying my kittenish innocence.

Two closing notes today:

1) I recently succeeded in my first epic battle against the evil canopy. I worked on it pretty hard over the weekend and after a number of flying attacks, I brought down its Katie-side flank sometime Monday evening. I only had about 12 hours in which to celebrate my victory though, since when I awoke from a mid-afternoon nap it had returned to form. I have a new strategy which I will soon deploy...

2) Bo Bice is the my meow. Some of the h8rs (I just started with my txt lingo) thought that his version of "Driftaway" (which in tribute I have re-written, see the title) just got lucky, but he rocked the house last night. When Simon is willing to say that a rocker gave one of the best male performances in Idol history you know it means something. He, at least implicitly, seemed to be comparing it to Fantasia's version of "Summertime" which I did not see, but read about meowstensively. I dig him like he was a patch of fresh catnip.

Purr,

Hippo

I have been so pleased with my own beauty the past few days that I just haven't had the paws to update. Today Baxter gave me a new yellow ball to bat around our lovely abode, and wow am I tired from all that strain. However, I have figured out that even when my toy goes behind the computer, into Katie's shoe, or under a table, my excellent flexibility prevent me from having to get help! I have excellent dexterity in my arms, being the powerful hippo kitty that I am.

To Root -- my life is taking deep breaths. i am convinced we are soul mates.

Purr,

Hippo

pictures of my lovely hippopotameow-cat self

in my infinite kitty wisdom, i have finally figured out how to get html coding to post beautiful photos of myself over christmas and hanging out. everyone agrees i am a star!

Me!!!!!

Grrr

So today in the process of cleaning up the apartment for what seems to be some sort of upcoming debate event, Katie and Baxter closed the hole in the bedspring in which i have been hiding. This is monumentally frustrating - where will I go to get away from them? Not that I want to hide all that often, but a kitty needs her alone time.

I am excited for the Project Runway Marathon tomorrow. Several of the episodes took place before I came to live with Baxter and Katie, so I'm a little confused. I know that I am a Jay fan, but I'd like to see where the storylines originated - it's so hard to be an organic intellectua-cat when media is so scattered and without purpose.

I'm finally starting to get dry from the bath I had this morning, which is no piece of cake with my beautiful, lush fur.

Sleepy time for Hippo Cat.

Purr,
Hippo

Ferdinand de Saus-purr

So I was thinking about the meow the other day and how difficult it is, as a cat, to relate to alot of linguistic philosophy. I mean, obviously, cats don't just say meow, we meow and mew and purr and roar and squeak and click and so on, but we have a pretty limited set of sounds. I don't mean to underrate the meow, but its hard to say that the system of signfiers is an exclusive one that operates on solely on the basis of difference when you say "Meow" to mean both "Give me some food" and "Dude, could you get my mouse from under the couch, its stuck." That said, I think the meow is still the best of the various animal noises. Moo, bark, quack, there is no chance. There is no versatility there, I mean, you can't bark demurely, its always sort of a jilting noise. Quack makes you sound very aloof and obstinant. I won't even dignify moo with a comment.

Katie and Baxter have some mixed up idea about taking an Easter picture of me and to that aim they came home from the mall the other day with a ridiculous lamby-basket. In case its not clear what I mean, let me explain, that it is like an Easter basket, its about that size and has a little handle, however, instead of being a colored wicker-affair, it is wooly and has four legs and a lamby face. The second she got it home she stuffed me in it and giggled at me. Luckily for everyone involved I was very mild mannered. I attacked her feet later while she was asleep and took a running jump at the canopy, so I feel vindicated.

I'm considering becoming a singer/songcat. I have written what I think is a potentially Grammy winning album and would at least pick up nominations for Best Female (Cat) Solo Artist, Best Record by a Kitten, Debut Kitten Performance, and Most Meowriffic. I'm tired, I'm gonna go hide in the box spring for a nap.

Purr,

Hippo

Happy Meowentine's Day!

So Baxter and Katie took their laptops with them when they left me alone for two full days this weekend, so I had no chance to post an update. I mean, I could have sat at the desktop or gone out to a cyber-cafe, but I'm fundamentally a cat. An afternoon trip to Wal-Mart resulted in my getting a collection of brightly colored pastic wiffle balls with bells inside them, so I've been busy.

I've really become an Itallio-phile lately. I love the Southern Renaissance, bruschetta, and even Giorgio Agamben. I was even thinking how much I wish Antonio Negri hadn't decided to write Empire with Michael Hardt, since the concept of the muliplicity is entirely lacking in the philosophical rigour which features so prominently in The Savage Anomoly for instance. I think it started when people started referring to me as Hippo di Bippo, which I like both for its Milan-Naples-Venice flair and the fact that it rhymes. It attracts my attention, alot like shiny objects or things that dangle.

Here is what I don't understand: why don't I get any chocolate? Katie seems to dig it and she got a nice big box of truffles today that I think would be a perfect follow up to a dish of Kitten Chow. I promised not to get any of the chocolate on my fur, but as of yet as I have not succeeded. Its not even unique, notably, since I rubbed up against the fan last night and got a good chunk of my pretty white coat smudged and gray. I wonder how that will ever get clean...

Hope everyone's Valentine's Day is meowriffic, since this is my first I will have to come up with some new traditions. To begin with, I think I will try an early evening nap...

Purr,

Hippo

Canopy!

So this morning, I discovered what Katie and Baxter feared- how much fun it is to play with the canopy on their bed! See, they put it up awhile ago, but I never really investigated how much fun I could have sitting in the pools of fabric on the floor, batting it around, and generally trying to make the shiny stuff move. I know that Katie especially is worried that I will hurt it, but I am sure that my playing will do no harm.

On the bad news front, I had to have a bath yesterday. It was awful and they came at me with something loud and blowing air at me which I was having none of, so it took my beautiful fur FOREVER to dry. At least I am fluffy now and slightly less itchy, but I am not sure it was worth it.

Time to bat the canopy again!

Purr,
Hippo

I Will Scratch Open the Damn Refrigerator if I Have To...

Baxter and Katie seem to have gone out to dinner and, while they were kind enough to bring me back a tasty piece of fish, they appear to have mistakenly put it inside a styrofoam container in the fridge, rather than, for instance, my food dish. I'm sure this will be remedied soon.

I woke up today, then I stretched out, yawned, and decided to take a brief nap. A little later I decided to leave the basket of laundry and on my way to the kitchen I ran into a comforter, which I decided warranted a good stretching and a nap. I eventually did make may way to the kitchen, where I selected a tasty combo of Kitten Chow "o"s and kitten chow "x"s for lunch. There was a good looking bowl of fresh water set out next to it, so I got a little bonus.

I found a mousey that I had recently misplaced and after standing up on my back paws like a little ewok and throwing it around for a while, I was left to think about Freud's discussion of the fetish object. While the step from random pointless thing to an object that bears some specific relation to the loved individual is easily distinguished, it is not entirely clear to me what it is that enables the object to become a true fetish as detached from that individual and itself overriding the entirety of the sexual aim.

After that I batted a pen around on the tile floor. It spins when you hit it on one side or the other, it also makes a really neat clicky noise.

Purr,

Hippo

My theme song for the day

Some girls kiss me, some boys hug me
I think they’re o.k.
If they don’t give me proper snuggling
I just walk away

They can beg and they can plead
But they can’t see the light, that’s right
’cause the boy with the kitty chow
Is always mister right, ’cause we are

Living in Hippopotameow's world
And I'm a Hippopotameow girl
You know that we are living in Hippopotameow's world
And I'm a Hippopotameow girl

Some girls scratch me, some boys pet me
That’s all right with me
If they can’t raise my interest then i
Have to let them be

Some girls try and some boys lie but
I don’t let them play
Only boys who throw my fishpole
Make my rainy day, ’cause they are

Living in Hippopotameow's world
And I'm a Hippopotameow girl
You know that we are living in Hippopotameow's world
And I'm a Hippopotameow girl

Living in Hippopotameow's world [Potameow!]
Living in Hippopotameow's world
(repeat)

Naps may come and Naps may go
And that’s all right you see
Experience has made me yawn
And now they’re after me, ’cause everybody’s

Living in Hippopotameow's world
And I'm a Hippopotameow girl
You know that we are living in Hippopotameow's world
And I'm a Hippopotameow girl

Hippopotameow's, Hippopotameow's, Hippopotameow's, Hippopotameow's world

Living in Hippopotameow's world [Potameow!]
Living in Hippopotameow's world
(repeat and fade)

My First SuperBowl Sunday

I've heard alot of talk about the Patriots and dynasties, but this is the first time I've seen them play in the big game. They are good and while I respect their work in the age of free agency, I am not entirely convinced. I read Vince Lombardi's book and Bill Belichek, you are no Vince Lombardi. I will really miss football until the fall and from what I saw today, I think the AFL is a poor substitute. As far as I am concerned the AFL is to football what the Jacobins were to tea parties.

On the commercial front, I think there was some funny stuff, but the fake kitty murder may have crossed a line. I mean, it makes me think of representational arguments from Adorno to Baudrillard, even along the lines of Frankfurt school critiques like Debord's The Society of the Spectacle. Mrow. Mrow, mrow.

Its freaking late, by the way, whats with an all new Simpsons at 10:45. Somebody better be working the tivo up in here. Thank Whiskas that I am nocturnal.

Wendy Pepper sucks by the way. I love Jay. I want to find his postal uniform in a clothes hamper, turn around on it a couple times, and take a nap.

Purr,

Hippo

I Went to the Vet Today...

...and damn do they need to find some advancement over anal thermometry.

In positive news, Katie left her coat on the floor and its hella comfortable.

I don't care what anyone says, btw, I think Lindsay Lohan rxrz. Totally meowriffic.

You'll never believe what I had for dinner, Purina Kittenchow. It had the flavors of chicken and tuna and there are two all new shapes, both X's and O's. It does wonders for keeping my fur soft and wonderful.

Purr,

Hippo

I am Hippo, hear me roar! Meow!


Time for a nap.